March 16, 2006
So I’m sitting at home watching an episode of The Guardian. I like the show. I find it quite watchable and though I don’t always get to see it, I like the writing, the characters and the messages it tries to carry across. This episode dealt with two of the characters dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. One of the characters said something that stuck in my mind. The pregnant character was bearing her soul to a friend and when asked by her friend if she wanted to have the child, she replied, “I don’t know. I think so. This wasn’t planned.” That single phrase got me thinking.
This is happening more than we’d like to think. I believe that more and more, people are getting used to the idea that you don’t have to settle down by the time you’re thirty, be married, have children and a steady job that is slowly ticking away to mandatory retirement age where after we all stare at the walls wondering where the time went. People are finally deciding to step out of the corporate model for life and are actually trying to live their life. I think it is a good thing and if you choose to follow this path, may the fates watch over you.
At this point I can hear you thinking, “That’s nice, what’s your point Vittorio?” My point is this.
More and more people are living their lives as they choose. We seem to forget, however, that sometimes life throws you a curve ball. One of those curve balls is pregnancy. The kind of pregnancy that isn’t planned. Now I’m hoping I’m wrong about this but I can easily see this becoming the norm with many middle to upper class couples – people that have a drive to succeed, to explore their world and to live life on their own terms – raising a generation of accidental children. These people may end up on the business end of a choice they never planned on making.
Along comes an unplanned, possibly unwanted child. Their perfectly planned world just encountered a slight flutter. Now what? Have the kid, don’t have the kid? Have the kid and run the risk of failing them miserably? These and several other questions will pop up and you’ll need to answer them in your own way.
Relax. My point is coming.
What I’m trying to say is no child should ever hear the words “You weren’t planned,” come out of their parents’ mouths for any reason. Ever. No child should ever feel that their parents would have lived a happier life if they weren’t born. And while you’re sitting there thinking about what you would do in that situation, don’t kid yourself about being noble either.
Don’t think, “If I get some girl pregnant, I’ll stand by her and take responsibility for my actions.” Those are noble thoughts and a good attitude to have, but I honestly think unless you’ve actually raised a child, you can’t make that kind of a choice without having regrets. By the time you’re about 18, you should know your own true nature. If you’re a weasel then be true to that, don’t get the other persons hopes up by telling them you’ll be there when you know you won’t. Most of the time, people who choose the noble path will run at the first sign of problems, because that’s when it becomes real. You can run from an idea but when that idea is made flesh, it’s a whole new game.
I guess through all this my point is that every generation of teenagers comes along and seems to be angry about something. In the 60’s and 70’s, they were anti-establishment. In the 80’s they were doing horrific things to clothing, hair and guitars. In the 90’s the establishment was under fire again just to a different soundtrack. So far we’ve failed to have a generation that hasn’t in some way tried to claim the moniker Generation X. I think that if we aren’t careful, the next generation of teens in this world will be called The Unwanted Generation and when they eventually come to power, there will be a mighty poop storm we’ll have to negotiate.
That’s all I’m trying to say I guess. Took me a while but I got the idea across. Have a good one y’all. I hope to see you at a gig soon. Peace.